The Golden Handcuffs

When I was coaching the term golden handcuffs came up regularly.

The term does not need explaining however just for clarity, it is the situation where we hold onto a job while desiring to be elsewhere because the remuneration and the security lock us there. Hence the term – Golden Handcuffs.

For many years in the personal development space, we have been fed stories of people who have been in desperate situations and have climbed through amazing stuff to create success.

While I find these stories inspirational, for a brief time at least, I am also wary of them.

Through my experience of coaching, I have witnessed two types of people when it comes to taking a risk and building from nothing.

Those that thrive and those that don’t.

Neither is wrong – there are many ways to plan your job exit and the focus on the big leap is sometimes dangerous.

I have often wondered how it feeds into our insecurities as well as the success culture that surrounds it. 

I realised that one of the first things we have to be honest about is how we are when money is tight, pressure is high and nothing seems to be falling into place.

And in this day of amazing, inspirational, build from nothing stories, that can be hard.

The sense of failure that can prevail is overwhelming and we can choose to forget that most don’t try to begin with. And that is ok. 

In the past, so many of the coaching world pushed the rhetoric that if you believe you can do it then you will take the risk and go for it.

Go for it

Forget about everything else and just leap.

I suspect one of the problems with this rhetoric is we are never told of the people that did and failed. 

We are never told the statistics for every start-up business, how many become the next 

 Google and how many disappear leaving behind an exhausted and broke business owner who truly believed they were on to a good thing when they leapt.

And sadly, often paid a coach that fed that story as well.

I understand that there are many reasons why things don’t quite work, and many sit right at the feet of the person trying. I have had to face that one a few times myself.

However, in these days of increasing uncertainty, I think encouraging someone to leave the money that pays their mortgage and feeds their family, behind on a whim is reckless.

I love the term side hustle because it alludes to the complete opposite.

That you can build something on the side while sitting in the space of some type of financial security.

Be aware that it will take more time. Doing something part-time will rarely build the same momentum as a full-time focus.

That being said, it is a great way to work towards the dream without the stress of wondering where the next dollar is coming from. 

Don’t be fooled. There will be a tipping point reached where you can no longer create what you want as a side hustle.

I have conversations like this every day

What does the jumping-off point look like?

How much do you need in your emergency fund?

What do you need to cover basic costs that can keep you going?

What does your side hustle need to be earning for you to feel comfortable that it can support you – maybe not at the same level your salary does but it can cover your costs.

And the most important question – how do you function when the pressure is really on?

If you are someone that faces your demon head on then go for it. I truly admire what you have.

If you are someone that becomes a little immobilised by fear then maybe raise the leaving bar just a little.

As Confucius once said.

‘Great things have no fear of time.’